I hate how everyone is like, "OMG the movie Camp, is just so campy!" and I'm like, "No, it's just bad."

Alright, folks, I'd like to take this moment to bring to your attention a grave, terrible, and tragic matter. This matter, being, sharks. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the very same sharks that you went to elementary school with, have become a drain on society. I mean, think about it, all they do is sit around, fucking look menacing, and eat shit (like plankton.) They don't even vote! They just use all these natural resources, like plankton, water, and pay-per-view (I used to think that it was paper-view and was so confused! oh my misguided youth...anyways.) I'm just sayin' ya know, they don't do shit. It's 2006! The year of the future! We have technology! We don't even need sharks anymore! They're so outdated. People have no qualms throwing away their old computers and killing fetuses, but when it comes to sharks suddenly everybody is like, "Conserve! Conserve! These are the sharks of our children's' future!" And I'm like, damn, I've seen a shark up close, they ain't even that cool. They're all like, "Hey, we be sharks." and shit. And their teeth, I mean what's up with that? They can't even bite, they have to gnaw.



Which is why, I propose, a two step program to help rehabilitate the sharks of our community. First, we have a "No Shark Gets Left Behind" program, in which we use education to keep them off the streets and out of gangs. Secondly, we create a killer super army of bioengineered sharks of doom. I mean, it always works in the movies. Think of all the money we would save on food, weapons, and transportation (among other, equally awesome things.) All they need to survive is raw flesh and the occasional shoulder to cry on, I know, I for one, could offer that if it meant the betterment of my country. And that's what it comes down to, being patriotic. If you don't support Proposition 234.5: Shark Army, then you are indeed letting the terrorists win. And by terrorists, I mean Hillary Duff. Think about the children, that's all I ask.

I'm just sayin' massive Project Runway spoilers, more spoilers than the West Coast Customs garage.

Okay, mother fuckers, I've been telling you for weeks (for weeks!) that Kara was so out. Not only is she South African, but she also has really un-creative designs. No, I'm kidding, about the South African part. Well, she's still South African, but that's no reason for her to get eliminated. Look, her designs have been rather lack-luster, especially since they began independently designing, I don't think she has even won a challenge on her own. It was time for her to go. If not sooner. In fact, I would have rather Nick stayed, and her go. I think he has far more potential. And I found it really odd when Michael Korrs was like, "Kara, did you design that dress you are wearing?" Except that I agreed with the point that he was making, she has been far too careful with her designs. The dress she was wearing was a lot nicer then anything she has designed. I actually really liked it.

And Santino, is still here. What the fuck, srsly, what the fuck. Get out of my house Santino. Leave. Honestly, he even goes as far as to distract me from studying for Jewish History, all his fault. Let me tell you. Or not. Okay, so he is really crazy (delicious) creative. He just keeps throwing shit onto his outfits, like literally, human waste. I attribute this to a complex he has developed due to his premature balding. Just a theory. Also, just another theory, maybe, maybe the judges (or the big man upstairs... aka the producers at Bravo TV) are like, "Hey, we need a fucking crazy ass mother fucker to bring some dramaz!!!!!!11!! to the show!" Hence, Santino still being here. Although, his bizarre Renaissance Fair design was kind of welcome, as this week's dresses were more boring then a dance-off at my grandmother's assisted living home.

Daniel won. I told you, I TOLD YOU. NEVER DOUBT ME EVER AGAIN. I KNEW IT WITHOUT EVEN WATCHING THE SHOW. BECAUSE I AM GOD. ALL HAIL ME. I AM THE NEW MESSIAH. ok just kidding. everyone and their college counselor knows that Daniel is good. mmm good. Did you see the video at the end, the one of him in 5 months? mmm nice hair cut Daniel, want to go to the Saves The Day show with me? I'll totally save you some room in the pit. Wait, do they even have pits at STD shows? pff. std. lol. tee hee hee. HOKAY.

Finally Chloe. A favorite among some. aka my brosef. Her dress this week had a beautiful idea behind it, unfortunately it was poorly executed. Had it not been, this week would have been hers. Undoubtedly. Okay, maybe with like 2 cups of doubt and a dash of cajun spices. Well, I'm glad she's still here. She's cute and has a good head on her petite shoulders.

Also, next week? Uh, an episode consisting of a reunion, I mean, I'm all for the drama rama. But if nothing gets designed. I am totally giving Heidi a beatdown. baby or not. well not, since she's probably already had the baby. And, like, I'm kind of afraid of Seal. Right, well, for my last thought, I will leave you with a question, "Remember all that crazy shit they used to pull last season, like the dresses made out of condiment wrappers? Whatever happened to that?"

Okay, so Samantha, feels that the crucial (cr00sh) part of understanding this blog (after awhile, the word gets easier to say, and less...dirty) would be realizing that it's written by two very different individuals. Well, I say nay! I personally feel that the crucial part in reading this blog, is that I write like I am on crack and that Samantha is an actual journalist, and that this mother effer actually has no theme whatsoever. Which, I guess, is what she was actually saying. So, um maybe I just wanted to clarify that.
Also, I was thinking about this today, because, like, hello? do I think about anything else? no, I don't. In case you were wondering. Right, so I was thinking, should this lovely blog(z0rz) have a theme? Or should it just be my batshit ramblings and awful teenage poetry with occasional bouts of Samantha's sensible social commentary. Or should it have a logical pattern, maybe a music blog? NO TOO MANY. maybe a celebrity gossip blog? ACH, SO TRITE. maybe a political commentary blog? ARE YOU KIDDING? probs. I probs am kidding. So, this will probably just end up being me shooting the shit. About random stuffs. Because, I challenge you to find a topic that hasn't yet been explored and exploited on the interwebs. challenge. dare, even.

Also, one of the man differences between Samantha and I, is that while I believe in happiness, she believes in nothing.

Also, expect Project Runway reviews.

You know you're mother fucking crossing your fingers for Daniel. Or like, burning incense in front of your Heidi Klum effigy. Whatever you kids do these days.

In this week's (actually, that's debatable, as I have no concept of time or space) edition of New York Magazine, under the section 'Party Lines' was a picture of Patty Hearst and offspring partying it up. I wonder if she knows how much she means to me. If she did, maybe she would stop this bullshit. We could be happy together. Balmy summer evenings spent sipping lemonade, contented, listening to the orchestrated lullabies of sweet nature. I would hold her hand and be her confidant. And I would tell her that she didn't have to do this. To pretend that it wasn't worth fighting for. To never pledge allegiance to syndrome's of the public's imaginings. I would wipe the blood from her palms, because society was terribly hesitant and would rather it scar. But I know nothing of you. And how I jest over something tragic. Tsk Tsk, I wonder if she collects Americana. I don't think I would. Can we please go home now? I am tired of this. Of missing era. So I cut my hair, baby girl. Grow old, get married.

Did I ever tell you, I got cast as a member on Party of Five? What good times were had. Oh true story though, I'm hiding Dakota Fanning behind those sunglasses. She's pretty siked about the whole thing. I'm like, bitch, you know? So, tomorrow is graduation, if it isn't canceled due to the inclement weather aka snow. And, I'm like, bitch, you know? Turns out, life doesn't know. But Samantha does, that's why she came over to my casa (mango tree) and we worked on our movie (titled: Refraction). IMDB would rate it a 9.5/10, and then have neat little facts about how you can see the reflections of the cameras in the mirror during the third scene. And how Seth Green plays the mentally disabled next door neighbor. Which obvs isn't true. It was totally James Franco. Lame. Uh, so that's pretty much how my day progressed. Aside from the Mexican gang fight that went down. Oh also, just an ode to life. Movies are awesome. I watched part of: Tank Girl, Anarchist Cookbook, XX/XY, Ice Princess, and Chasing Liberty. Basically, I'm better and more cultured than you. Also, fuck Mates of State, Straylight Run, and Thursday. Just for being impossible. I'm sorry, I didn't really mean that.

Bee Tea (mmm peach ginger honey) Dubs; the title of this weblog, is taken from a poem I never wrote. But was going to. I promise.