Okay, so for each new week, my assignment book features an “inspirational quote” to get me “pumped,” “inspired,” or, conversely, “lamed out.” The way that it normally works, is that they have a big overarching theme-word bolded, an accompanying related graphic, and obviously a quote. And you know what? Sometimes it works. But sometimes, they pull shit like have a Jimi Hendrix quote. Now, I don’t want to assume here, but come one, if Jimi knew that he was featured in an assignment book which is a basic proponent of all that The Man stands for, he would probs roll in his grave, throw up, choke on his vomit, and die again. Okay, like 4 out of the 6 people who read this blog just was like, “Morbid much?” But like, I was referencing his death; I didn’t just come up with that. HOLY CRAP I AM SO SIDETRACKED RIGHT NOW. Anyways, I would say, that the clincher sentence of this paragraph is that for the most part the quotes are pretty lame, but generally harmless.

That is, until this week (The Week of May First The Year of Our Lord 2006). The theme this week is, “Endurance” which I guess is fitting since I’ve run an average of attempting ritual suicide via chop sticks about 4 times an hour. And by that I mean junior year, based on my calculations, will never end. ever. The visual? Looks like something out of windows media player, not even itunes! What crap! I expect excellence. Right, so, so far, not terrible inspired. On a scale of one to inspired, I’m like, a “Wow that’s special.” But the quote, the quote (why do I keep repeating myself? self?) is “Diamonds are nothing more than chunks of coal that stuck to their jobs.” – Malcolm Forbes. Okay so about 3 of the 6 people who read this blog just went, “If I can’t tell wear she is going with this entry within the next 7 words, I am taking this off of my RSS feed.” The other 3 people just pulled up porn sites using their mozilla firefox tabs system. Oh technology.

My Main problem with that quote, is the basic ideology behind it, it assumes that coals aren’t happy the way they are, and that diamonds are better. Hey, Malcolm, I enjoy your fallacious knowledge, because it lets me use words like fallacious. No, wait, Malcolm, you have a good heart, and I respect that. But what I don’t respect, is your disregard for all that coal has going for it. First of all, do you know how much of the world’s energy source is based on coal? A lot. About half. I mean, compare that to how much diamonds have done. Pretty much the only thing that diamonds have done are, a) last forever and b) being a girl’s best friend. And, between you and me, diamonds have been writing some really nasty myspace blogs about how their friendship is falling apart because so-and-so slept with what’s her face’s best friends boy friend. And really I don’t know where I’m going with this. Right. well. Okay. Plus it supports the idea of changing ourselves to suit other peoples’ idea of beauty. Why should we conform and work towards the masses standards? Basically, that quote is saying, “Work for the man so that you can change everything unique about you to fit a greater vision of what’s acceptable.” In short, I have come to discover, that they are lacing our assignment books with subliminal messages that are subconsciously grooming us for the establishment and the machine.

Also, I just realized this, but like coals and diamonds are both used in grills. I think that preaches harmony and a sense of communal respect.